so explain again why im purple
no
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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