i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize