I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
