from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
