I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
