I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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