What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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