Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
