somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
