I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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