The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
