i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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