If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
