Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
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