I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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