Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Edward fifth and chaser hands
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
