I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
this boner is exhausting
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
