i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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