U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
