I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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