i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
