yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize