I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I don't deserve a penis
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
