He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
