As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
