their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
