Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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