I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
