just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
