You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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