also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Is Oprah even human
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
