she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
