After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
