i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize