fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
