I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
