I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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