found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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