First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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