I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
