i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
