I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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