Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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