He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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