Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
