Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
