i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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