I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
