He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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