we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Randomize
