but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize