its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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