if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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