i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
