she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
