The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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