you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I want to fling myself into the sun
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
