ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
