remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
