I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
