hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Randomize
