I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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