There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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